


Valentine in Quarantine

by slowcookedvig



Series: 2020 is too weird to be a rom-com [3]
Category: Glee
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sex Shop, Cohabitating, Food, M/M, New Relationship, Valentine's Day, current events 2021, life with the effin virus, relationships take work, the sex is really tame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 11:07:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,729
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29400981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slowcookedvig/pseuds/slowcookedvig
Summary: Valentine's Day is coming soon. And Kurt is... rearranging the cookware, after Blaine moved it into the wrong cupboards. Every relationship has an adjustment period. And living together so soon after meeting during a pandemic? Well... keeping the romance alive takes work. And inspiration. And a hopeless romantic who gets sample products from his job at an adult novelty shop.
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel
Series: 2020 is too weird to be a rom-com [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2042836
Comments: 8
Kudos: 20





	Valentine in Quarantine

**Author's Note:**

> The title doesn't rhyme in my accent. Oh, well.
> 
> This is a sequel to "No, the one beside the sex shop." It probably won't make sense without reading that fic first.
> 
> Thanks to folks on Tumblr who discussed baking. Especially redheadgleek, who found links to actual real products that real people can buy.

Every relationship has an adjustment period, Kurt reminds himself as he moves the serving bowls out of the cupboard where the mixing bowls go. Blaine is the perfect roommate/boyfriend, in _so_ many ways. But he spent a couple years being the neatest person in a group house. And although most of Blaine's cookware had been left for Sam and Santana to keep using, Blaine brought his organizational schemes with him. And - ok, yes, Blaine's schemes have own internal logic. Kurt understands. It's just - Blaine's schemes are _wrong_. Or, well, not the same as Kurt's internal logic. At some point, Kurt and Blaine will need to have a discussion about all of this. In fact, Blaine has already ordered a label-maker, just to make all easier. But in the meantime, Kurt is putting everything back where it belongs.

He starts going through the drawer underneath the oven. Some of the baking supplies belong in there, but they don't all fit, which means that Kurt has a secondary cupboard for less-commonly-used baking sheets and pans. He pulls out the entire stack to sort through it, then stops and frowns. Huh. _That's_ new. He pulls out the cookie sheets and looks at the piece of plastic that is stacked on them. It clearly doesn't belong; the space under the oven is for things that can withstand heat, and the silicone would melt in the oven. He is in the midst of removing it from the stack when he gets a good look at it.

It's a sheet of two dozen little molds, each an inch or two long. And every one of them is shaped like a tiny penis.

Kurt turns it over carefully. It clearly came from Blaine's work; even if Fantasy Island Novelty Toys doesn't normally carry supplies for making your own miniature penises, their suppliers send all sorts of samples for Blaine to evaluate. For the past two and half months, Kurt has had the pleasure of helping Blaine test all sorts of interesting products. But he hasn't seen this one. Not that they would use one-inch dicks during sex; these look more like a joke product, the kind of thing you would use to make ice cubes for a sexually explicit party. He shakes his head and sets the mold aside when he sees that the label is still attached. He was right - the molds could be used to make ice cubes. But also butter pats. And - chocolate.

Hmmm.

It's going to be Valentine's Day soon. And the pandemic is still raging; vaccinations are going slowly, and Kurt and Blaine aren't in any of the priority groups. They're doing curbside pick-up to get their groceries, and Blaine is the first one to see any of the packages that come in the mail. Kurt is picky about flowers and chocolate, and although he could order flowers to be delivered... Well. Home-made chocolate might be more meaningful. Especially given how Kurt and Blaine met.

*

It's hard to find time to create the perfect surprise when your Valentine shares your apartment. And works from a desk in your living room. And gets up early to make coffee to deliver to you in bed, and wants to dance with you in the kitchen in the evening while you're making tea.

Kurt orders the ingredients the next time they buy food: heavy cream, bittersweet chocolate, plus some more vanilla and semi-sweet chocolate to replenish their supplies. He and Blaine have a discussion about organizing the milk products in the refrigerator: do they belong in the door, or on a shelf? Blaine ends up getting out the label-maker and labeling the places for milk, heavy cream, and half & half, which leads to an hour-long discussion about where to keep the spatulas and the whisks. By the end, they have labeled every cabinet and drawer, and Kurt is about to get seriously annoyed about the entire situation when Blaine finally types out one last label and sticks it onto his sweater. Kurt frowns for a moment, then reads it.

It says: _Property of Kurt Hummel_. And it's stuck right on top of Blaine's heart.

It wasn't even a fight in the kitchen, but the make-up sex is pretty awesome.

*

Kurt unwraps his scarf, then removes each of his masks and puts them into a reuseable shopping bag that sits beside the door. He breathes in the smell of Blaine cooking something - there's garlic, for sure, and something creamy - then takes off his boots and heads for the kitchen.

There's music playing on the bluetooth speakers, and Blaine is so busy dancing in front of the stove, singing into the spoon when he isn't stirring, that he doesn't see Kurt until Kurt wraps his arms about Blaine's waist. Blaine spins into the kiss, then pulls back, smiling.

"What are you making?" Kurt asks, nosing at the curl of hair around Blaine's ear.

"Penne pasta with spinach and artichoke hearts in a cream sauce." Blaine gives it another stir. "There was heavy cream in the refrigerator, and I remembered getting something like this at a restaurant, and I know how much you miss going to out to eat - "

Kurt pulls away and looks in the refrigerator. There is still some cream left, thank god - they weren't planning on getting groceries again before Valentine's Day.

Blaine looks back over his shoulder, like he's wondering where Kurt went.

"You didn't say you were making a cream sauce when we made the grocery list." Kurt tries to control his tone, to take some of the bite out of the criticism.

"I know, but there was cream in the refrigerator, and I was planning to use the spinach and artichoke hearts anyway - " Blaine looks at Kurt, and the excited look falls from his face. It's as if a puppy ran up to Kurt carrying a slipper, and suddenly realized that holes and drool don't make the perfect gift, after all.

Though a cream sauce for penne pasta is hardly drool, Kurt reminds himself. He takes a breath and searches for inner calm. "I had plans for the cream. But it looks like there's enough left, so it's fine. And that really does smell delicious."

Blaine bites his lip. "I'm sorry about the cream. None of the dinners on your list sounded like they would use it, so I couldn't figure out what it was for."

Kurt sighs. "It was for Valentine's Day. Ok? It's a surprise. Please don't ask me more about it."

Blaine frowns. "But I thought _I_ was cooking on Valentine's Day. I had a plan - I didn't want to tell you about it. I wanted you to be surprised." And oh, that disappointed look on Blaine's face just _hurts_.

Kurt needs to do something about it. "Ok. So we both want to surprise each other. Which is very romantic. You know that, don't you?" He slips a finger under Blaine's chin to tilt his head back up until Blaine looks him in the eye.

Blaine nods.

"So we need a plan. Because Christmas was very sweet, but we kept tripping over each other, trying to make everything perfect. So let's set some guidelines this time. Ok?"

Blaine nods again.

"You can have the kitchen on Sunday. I've got to work, anyway, so I'll be out of the apartment. But on Saturday, I get the kitchen. I want to make bread."

Blaine's eyes darken for a moment. After all, Kurt's sourdough is connected to some pleasant memories for both of them.

"But we can't eat it until Sunday," Kurt reminds him. "Or use it for anything else. And I'm setting those rules for me, too - you know that I can't resist your ideas. I mean, you have the _best_ ideas. But you need to help me stick to _this_ plan. Ok?"

Blaine looks thoughtful. "I think it's supposed to snow again on Saturday," he says. "I could help shovel out some of the cars. Mrs. Carter had hip surgery last year and really shouldn't be doing it for herself." Even with the need to keep up social distancing, Blaine has managed to make friends with half the people on the block during the last few storms, helping dig out cars and scattering de-icer on their steps.

"Good." Kurt leans forward and kisses Blaine, slowly at first and then deeper, before remembering that there is a cream sauce that needs to be constantly stirred.

They don't have sex until after they've eaten and done the dishes. But like usual, Kurt thinks that Blaine has _excellent_ ideas.

*

Making chocolate candies requires careful attention. First, Kurt has to melt the semi-sweet chocolate at just the right temperature. Too hot, and it will scorch. Too cold, and it won't mix together perfectly. When the melted chocolate is perfect, he tests to make sure it hardens with a smooth, shiny finish, then sets the glass bowl into a pan of warm water. Then he pours cream into another saucepan, heating it until it almost boils (but doesn't scald). When the cream is ready, he mixes it with the vanilla and bittersweet chocolate to make the ganache.

As he fills the molds with the first layer of chocolate, he thinks it's a good thing that Blaine is outside shoveling snow. Because layering melted chocolate into tiny penises... well, there is absolutely no way that the chocolate candies would ever have the chance to set. In fact, Kurt probably would have scorched the chocolate or scalded the cream during an overly heated make-out session. (Not that they could actually scald milk just by kissing. It's not _literally_ that hot.)

When the first layer of chocolate has hardened, Kurt fills the penises with ganache, then refrigerates them while he forms the bread dough into a couple small loaves. Then he adds the last layer of chocolate, scrapes off all the scraps, and sets the extra chocolate aside in an opaque leftover container and hides it in the back of the refrigerator. Perhaps when he and Blaine have enjoyed all the penises, they can melt more chocolate and dip strawberries into it. Or dip other things. Kurt giggles at the half-formed images in this head, and puts the penis molds in the refrigerator and the bread into the oven.

The chocolates are carefully put away in a covered dish in the back of the refrigerator by the time Blaine gets home. Kurt hears him stomping snow off of his boots from where Kurt is still pulling the bread out of the oven.

"I'm almost done in the kitchen!" Kurt sings.

Blaine laughs from the living room. "The bread smells delicious. But I know - " he pulls off his second mask and smiles as Kurt steps around the partition that separates the kitchen from the living room. " - I know, the bread is for tomorrow."

Blaine's cheeks are red and his eyes are bright. Kurt leans over for a kiss, then takes off his apron. "Let me put this away," he calls back.

The closet door clicks shut as Blaine puts away his coat, and then suddenly Blaine is there behind Kurt. "Hi," he says.

"Hi." Kurt knows his voice is a little breathy, but he just doesn't care. "You're awfully happy for someone who just spent two and a half hours doing physical labor."

"It was nice to be outside," Blaine says. "I miss people." He raises his hands at Kurt's worried look. "I wore masks the entire time and was more than six feet away from everyone and kept my gloves on. I didn't even go inside when Mrs. Carter offered to give me cookies."

Kurt considers asking whether Mrs. Carter managed to get vaccinated last week, but although they enjoy vaccine-watching almost as much as bad reality tv, he is far more interested in the light in Blaine's eyes. He's had two and a half hours fantasizing about having dicks in his mouth, and he finally gets to act on his fantasies.

*

Kurt is glad that he's been assigned to handle sound for heartwarming Valentine's stories, and not for the kind of tragedies that happen on Saturday nights and get covered on the Sunday news. But the roads are slick with a mix of sleet and freezing rain, and it's stressful driving the news van. Kurt's masks are cold and wet by the time the filming is over, and he's ready to get home, take off every sodden layer, and see what Blaine has prepared for Valentine's Day.

The apartment is filled with the smell of onions and garlic and thyme. Something tugs at Kurt's memory, but he pushes it aside - pretty much everything has sautéed onions and garlic in it, and thyme is one of Blaine's favorite spices, if only for the silly puns that somehow make Kurt laugh, no matter how lame they are.

"It's almost ready," Blaine calls from the kitchen. "Go change your clothes, and I'll put it on the table."

Kurt smiles and heads into the bedroom, stripping off his damp work clothes, and searching through the closet for something to match the romance that Blaine has been teasing about all week. He settles on a dark grey jacket with a subtle swirling pattern of maroon and black, a black shirt, and tightly fitted maroon jeans that Blaine has already drooled over. (Literally. There was that time that Blaine tried to undo the zipper with his teeth. Kurt finally convinced him to _just pull on the zipper already_ , but he appreciated the efficiency of having Blaine's mouth right _there_ as soon as Kurt's cock was exposed.) After a quick trip into the bathroom to fix his hair, which has been tangled by the wind and flattened by the sleet, Kurt heads for the kitchen to see what Blaine has been up to.

Blaine is dressed in classic Valentine's Day form, in a black suit, white shirt, and dark red bow tie. When he sees Kurt, he taps something on his phone, and the bluetooth speakers come to life. It's not a professional recording; it's Blaine's keyboard, hinting at an arrangement of something orchestral-yet-pop...

Kurt stops, listening, until he recognizes it. _Love Is a Many Splendored Thing_. Blaine is the cheesiest, most adorable...

The music on the speakers changes to a slow bop, and Blaine dances towards him, then starts singing. _  
  
Love is the drug and I need to score_

Blaine's face is ridiculous. Kurt just wants to kiss him, but before he can close the distance, the music changes, and Blaine's voice switches to falsetto.

 _Love is like oxygen,_ _  
You get too much, you get too high,  
Not enough and you're gonna die.  
Love gets you high._

Kurt just starts laughing. Blaine has managed to arrange all of the songs whose titles Kurt used when he told Blaine that he loved him, three months ago, when they were quarantining separately, texting silly things to keep each other company and sending kinky care packages. It's absurd, and sweet, like pure extract-of-Blaine. But then the music slows. Kurt takes advantage of the break to slip into Blaine's arms and start swaying. Blaine takes his hand and spins him around, and keeps singing.

_I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes  
Well, love is all around me  
And so the feeling grows_

_It's written on the wind, it's everywhere I go_   
_So if you really love me_   
_Come on and let it show_

Kurt can't limit himself to listening and dancing anymore, no matter what Blaine has planned. He leans forward and kisses Blaine slowly. "You goof," he whispers as the music comes to an end. "You wonderful goof."

Blaine grins at him. "Would you care for some dinner?" He pulls away and bows towards the table. Kurt looks at it and...

It's bowls of soup. Off-white soup, fairly creamy, with a loaf of Kurt's sourdough set in the middle of the table. He raises an eyebrow at Blaine, then takes his seat.

"Try it!" Blaine has his eager-puppy face on.

Kurt just shakes his head and tastes it, then laughs. It's the same soup that Kurt sent as a quarantine care package to Blaine. "Where did you even get turnips?" he asks. "I would have noticed if they had been on your grocery list last week."

Blaine beams. "Mercedes got them with her groceries," he says. "I met her in the park yesterday, and we traded food. She's planning a picnic lunch with Sam. Though the weather ruined her plans for today. She's waiting until the perfect time."

Kurt raises an eyebrow at that. He's been neglecting his gossip sessions with Mercedes - or at least, neglecting to keep up on _her_ gossip.

"Would you care for some bread?" Blaine lifts a knife and sets the bread on the cutting board.

"It's a good thing that I made normal loaves this time," Kurt jokes. "That knife would be disturbing if it were pointed at a sourdough penis."

Blaine tilts his head toward the butter dish. And, oh god, Blaine used the penis molds too.

Kurt tries to look horrified, but he just starts giggling. Blaine responds by scooping a tiny yellow dick onto a slice of bread and offering it to Kurt. And it's all Kurt can do to accept it without laughing too hard. He looks at Blaine, then drags his tongue across the butter as suggestively as possible.

Blaine's eyes darken as he dips his spoon into the soup, then brings it to his mouth. Circling his tongue around the tip of the spoon is just overkill, really. But Kurt isn't ready to back down, not yet. He takes a large spoonful and sticks it into his mouth, knowing that as much will end up on his face as inside his lips. He doesn't take his eyes off of Blaine as he swallows, slowly and deliberately, then licks off the remaining soup.

They continue, escalating the teasing with every bite, until finally Blaine drops his spoon beside his bowl and leans over the table.

"I promised myself that we would get through half of the soup." He reaches out a hand to stroke Kurt's cheek, then runs a finger along Kurt's lips. "But you've still got a little on your face - right - _there_."

Kurt smirks as he kisses Blaine's palm, then turns his head away and picks up a slice of bread. "We're not quite halfway through yet," he whispers as he dunks the bread into his soup, then holds it towards Blaine's mouth.

Blaine wraps his lips all the way around the bread, taking Kurt's fingers into his mouth with it. He sucks, briefly, before releasing the fingers and chewing the bread. Then he takes another piece of bread, wets it with soup, and drags it across Kurt's cheek. "Oops," Blaine grins. "I missed. I should clean that up." He leans in and nibbles across Kurt's face.

Kurt closes his eyes for a moment, then considers his next move. "I think..." He pauses and rakes his eyes down Blaine's body, then back up again. "I think we should hang up some of these clothes before we get food on them."

And that's all it takes. They're already shrugging out of their jackets and fighting over who gets to remove Blaine's bow tie before they make it to the bedroom. Blaine gets his pants off first, then helps remove Kurt's. Kurt insists on unbuttoning Blaine's shirt, starting from the bottom, kissing his way up Blaine's sternum as it is exposed. Kurt's shirt is a bit more complicated, but soon they are down to their underwear.

Kurt licks his lips. "I need - "

But Blaine shakes his head. "I've been thinking about that sourdough penis you made, back when we were quarantined." He sounds so hopeful.

"I've been wanting you in my mouth since I saw those butter pats," Kurt replies.

Blaine thinks for a moment, then crawls onto the bed, turning so he is facing towards the foot. Kurt realizes what he's doing and nods, pulling his underwear off before he settles down with his face next to Blaine's still-covered cock. He pulls at Blaine's underwear, untangling them from Blaine's legs, then leans forward to lick...

And has to close his eyes as Blaine's warm lips nuzzle along Kurt's cock, searching for the head from this new angle. Kurt opens his eyes and leans forward again, this time managing to lick a stripe from Blaine's tip to his balls. Blaine responds by wrapping his lips around Kurt's head and tracing the slit with his tongue. And then Kurt has trouble distinguishing the sensations - the feel of Blaine's tongue teasing him, the taste of Blaine's precum, the musky scent of Blaine's balls, the soft sound of dirty words as Blaine whispers against Kurt's cock, the sense of surrounding and being surrounded and sucking and tightening and tasting and, oh god now already releasing...

They lie there, panting, until Blaine spins around so his face is next to Kurt's. Blaine's lips still glisten with Kurt's semen, and Kurt licks it off of him. Blaine kisses him back and makes some incoherent joke about time, or maybe thyme. Kurt just lies there and watches him and smiles.

Finally, Blaine stretches. "I should clean up the dishes."

"I'll help," Kurt offers.

"Because I'll put things in the wrong places?" Blaine sounds like he is joking. Kurt hopes so, at least.

"Because I want to spend the rest of Valentine's Day with you," Kurt replies.

They pull on sweatpants and t-shirts and go back into the kitchen. Blaine puts the leftover soup into some Tupperware to save it for later. Kurt wraps the bread in an old plastic bag and sets it on the counter, then picks up the plate covered with little butter penises.

Blaine laughs. "We got a mold to test for the shop. It wasn't something we normally carry - our customers want their toys to be ready to go right away - but it made me think of you."

Kurt raises an eyebrow at that.

"Because of the gummy dicks...?" Blaine reminds him.

Kurt just laughs and opens the refrigerator. "That reminds me," he says. "I made something for dessert."

They eat the chocolate penises while they do the dishes. But before they put the dishes away... well, they get a little distracted.

There's time to get the kitchen organized. Lots of time.

**Author's Note:**

> Chocolate candy recipe: https://www.thespruceeats.com/how-to-make-molded-chocolate-candies-521282
> 
> Spinach artichoke pasta: https://www.the-girl-who-ate-everything.com/one-pan-spinach-artichoke-pasta/
> 
> Soup recipe: https://www.slenderkitchen.com/recipe/creamy-turnip-soup
> 
> Songs:
> 
> Love Is a Many Splendored Thing (The Four Aces: https://youtu.be/GnDtxiNwDS8)
> 
> Love is the Drug (Roxy Music: https://youtu.be/0n3OepDn5GU)
> 
> Love Is Like Oxygen (Sweet: https://youtu.be/kRVwcPTnug8)
> 
> Love Is All Around (The Troggs: https://youtu.be/SxxwtTjLKJs)


End file.
